It’s 6 am, made myself some Chai Latte and thinking about the eternal quest for success.
Or at least, thinking about my very own, I’ve never been very good with this whole “Philosophy” thing, but I do like to share some personal experiences from time to time, and since I never had a platform of my own to do so, I just decided to make my own.

So buckle up, and make yourself a Chai Latte too if you still got some, because we’re going to talk about success, and how it’s not always what it seems.

How it always starts, and how it never ends.

Well, we seem to be pretty consistent don’t we ?
We’re pattern-seeking creatures, and we like to think that we can predict the future based on the past.
We always think in terms of statistics, we always categorize things. Neat little boxes, with neat little labels.
All of what I’m saying isn’t new to anyone, but it’s always good to remind ourselves that we’re not alone in this world, and that we’re not the only ones who think about these things.

So how does it start ?
Well, more often than not, it starts with a dream, a vision, a goal.
We see the state of things, and one day, we wake up of an everlasting slumber, we decided things must change.
The eternal quest for success begins, the constant movement, the destruction of ephemeral comfort, the creation of a new world.

How does it end ?
When does it end ?
Does it end ?

I don’t know, and I don’t think anyone does.
What I do know is, no matter how much you achieve, no matter how much you succeed, there’s always something more to do, something more to achieve, something more to succeed at.

The eternal quest for success.

”Say less, do more” they say, “Fake it till you make it” they say.
Ever so popular phrases, all nonsensical, all meaningless.

The eternal quest for success is not about saying less, it’s not about doing more.
It’s about doing the right things, at the right time, for the right reasons.

We often seem to want to carry the world on our shoulders, by doing that we reassure ourselves that we’re doing something, that we’re moving forward.
We love the control, the idea of being the ones in charge, we hate seeing time move, we hate being reminded of our mortality.
We love destroying the one thing we cannot control, time.

The everlasting quest for success gives us something we know doesn’t end, it allows us to keep the roots of existence in place, to never question them.

What does it all mean ?

Another Chai Masala in my cup, another thought in my mind.

Did you guys ever play the game Coffee Talk ?

It’s a game where you play as a barista, and you listen to people’s stories, their struggles, their successes.
It’s a game about empathy, about understanding, about listening.

Its developer, an Indonesian guy named Mohammad Fahmi, said that he wanted to make a game that would make people feel good, that would make people feel like they’re not alone in this world.

He unfortunately recently passed away, may God bless his soul for he was a great man.

I think about him a lot, about his game, about his philosophy.
Like him, my dream was becoming a developer that did everything all at once.
Toby Fox, Eric Barone, all of these people that made games all by themselves, they were my heroes.

I kept coding and coding and coding, and then something strange happened.

Something just… snapped.
Like the guard rail of what seemed like an always-safe bridge.
Like the hand you thought you could always hold on to.

That hand, it just… let go.

And I fell.

I couldn’t believe it, nor could I stop it from happening.
I had to let go, I had to let myself fall.

And I fell, and I fell, and I fell.
I think it never really stopped from there, I never really stopped falling.
But I think I’m okay with that.

I think I’m okay with falling, with failing, with not being the best.
I want to accept the fact that there is an end, I think it’s okay that the eternal quest for success doesn’t have to be eternal.

I think I’m okay with that.

Empty Promises, Unfulfilled Dreams.

Like a chant I always repeat to myself, like a mantra I always whisper in the dark.
My eyes always sealed, as to not see the ground beneath me.

In all of our endeavors we forget about the fall, we forget about the end.
I wish I could tell you that it’s all going to be okay, that you’re going to make it, that you’re going to succeed.
And as I am writing this to you my friends, in a month or so, I will know if my life can continue, if my dreams can be fulfilled, or if I’m going to finally look at the ground rapidly approaching my sealed eyes.

My friends, all is always well, and all will always be well.
If not for lies we turn into truths slowly, no amount of encouragement would make us try and break the ephemeral.

When no bridge is left to cross, when no hand is left to hold, when no light is left to guide, we must remember that we are the ones that must take the first step.

We must open our eyes to the always falling sky, and we must take the leap of faith.

My friends, I wish you all the best, and I hope that you will find what you’re looking for.
I love you all, no matter who you are, no matter where you are, no matter what you do.

Thank you for letting my open heart speak to you, thank you for being the ears that listen to my words.

Thank you for being, even for an instant, a part of my life.

You are you.
You are loved.

You can open your eyes when you fall,
You can wake up from the Godhead’s dream,
Even when you fall,
Especially when you fall,

You will once say you have flown.

- yaro